The Native Iowan

Another luvely morn here in Morosa Valley. We have just started weaning 9 calves. I think they average 3 to 400 pound/ 150-200kg each.

We ran the herd down to the yards yesterday. A gentle herd we have. They are pretty easy to move. Most times. I enjoy watching them; the stately matrons, floating like a maternal brig, navigating the pastures, complete with dangling udders. The frisky lil’uns; they scamper and play, watch you, heads lowered, prepared to dart-off. The larger calves, the weaners; much larger and much more greedy, they are big but demand much of their Dame. We need to take them away and allow the cow to build her strength, breed again.

Nine were cut aside from the others easy enough. 5 calves are still small so we ran them through the crush and checked their sexual preferences out. The heifers can run through. Two calves have testicles – mui-bad. The lil one was easy to get the bands on. The big’un put up a fight. I reckon we spent an hour-plus rassl’n with him and did not succeed to get both of his baby-nuts strangled by the band.

It was another fun, old fart on the farm experience… Joe, Angelo, Mendoza and I all running some aspect of the castration process. Joe is boss so he got the band on the spreader and is ready. Mendoza is holding the head, Angelo had the calf’s rear end held in the crush. Joe and I are in the proctologist position; I hold the tail high as Joe does the examination, both hands down between the lil’guy’s legs, feeling  around for both nuts.

The operative word is “both”. It did not happen. The lil’bastard would suck one or both up. We struggled, cursed, got shat on, knelt in the mire of piss and corruption as we fought and carried on.

Two ol farts; attempting to control, dictate terms to the cute lil calf, who argued, and kicked, and carried on. At one point I told the boys; “watch his hoof, he’ll kick me in the chest”, and sure as shit, quick as a calf, I got his right rear in my sternum. Nice to know I’m not such a wimp, it didnt stop me.

My shirt has a cute lil shitty hoop print in it.

We eventually gave up. Plan was to continue this morn.

For those of my faithful readers who have experience of cows know well how vocal a herd can be when weaning takes place. You end up with a mob of calves bellowing for their mamas. And the mamas at the gate hollering back and testing the integrity of the closures.

Its all great good fart fun n games.

big smiles